Christian Grey: An Owner's Guide & Maintenance Manual
by 1Mockingjay4All
Summary: Have you recently purchased a brand new CHRISTIAN GREY Dominant Companion Unit? Please take the time to read and consider this Owner's Guide & Maintenance Manual Courtesy of ACME LLC. This is a PARODY piece meant for fun. Please do not try to contact this fictitious corporation! CREDIT for inspiration to PUMPKINGRIN and Theresa Green.


**The Official Online Owner's Guide & Maintenance Manual For The Christian Grey Dominant Companion Unit**

_Have you recently purchased a Christian Grey Dominate unit? If so then please take a moment to carefully go over the Owner's Guide & Maintenance Manual to ensure the full scale use of your brilliant yet tortured Dominate unit._ Courtesy of ACME LTD.

_**Christian Grey: An Owner's Guide & Maintenance Manual**_

Congratulations! You are now the lucky owner of a Sex god - he fully functional 50 Shades Series Christian Grey Dominate unit - otherwise referred to as a "DOM" unit. Please carefully read and consider the enclosed manual for any and all info on owning and caring for your stoic and controlled yet heart-breakingly fragile DOM unit. Along with info on how to activate and maintain your unit this manual also contains a section for FAQ's.

**Basic Information:**

**Full Name**: Christian Trevelyan Grey

**Date Of Manufacture**: June 7th, 1986

**Age**: 27

**Gender**: Male

**Height**: 6'2

**Weight**: 175

**Hair Color**: Dark Copper

**Eye Color**: Grey

Every Christian Grey DOM Unit comes with the following items:

(1) White Linen Shirt

(1) Pair Dark Wash Denim Jeans

(1) Pair Black Converses

(1) White Cotton T-Shirt

(1) White Cotton Boxer Briefs

(1) White Button Down Shirt

(1) 3-Piece Grey Suit [Jacket, Vest, Pant]

(1) Pair Black Dress Socks

(1) Pair Black Leather Oxfords

(1) Black Silk Tie

(1) Silver Silk Tie

(1) Pair of Titanium Cufflinks

(1) Pair Soft Slightly Faded Stonewash Jeans [Solely For Playroom Use. Hand wash Only. See FAQ's for more details.]

(1) Pre-braided Brunette Colored Wig [See FAQ's for details]

(1) Mock NDA Contract

_*The Black Tie Deluxe pack is unfortunately not included with the default Christian Grey DOM unit. This and other accessories are available to pre-order online. Just visit us at www,acmelimited,com/50Shades/CGunit/apparel_

**TO ACTIVATE:**

Make sure your DOM unit is completely out of crate and fully erect (For overzealous owner's this means standing upright). Firmly press both index and middle finger against each of your unit's temples and hold for 10 seconds or until unit's eyes open. Still keeping fingers in place wait until your DOM unit makes eye contact with you and state your safe words. The first for soft limits and a second for hard limits.

For example one would say...

"My Safe-words are _**Yellow**_ & _**Red**_"

Upon hearing your safe-words your units eyes will flutter. Do Not be alarmed if his pupils dilate and retract quickly and suddenly - this is normal. DO NOT move or remove your hands until your DOM unit repeats your safe-words back to you.

And Voila! You now have a fully functioning Sex god at your disposal. Have fun and let the 'Kinky Fuckery' begin!

**To DEACTIVATE:**

You will have to perform a manual submissive mode override before you attempt to deactivate your DOM Unit. A deactivation is much like the activation process. While on his knees in a submissive position firmly place index and middle fingers on your units temples and hold for 10 seconds or until unit's eyes close. Repeat same safe-word from activation in the same order.

For Example one would simply say...

"Yellow (pause) Red"

Upon hearing these words your unit's head should bow and the shoulders should slump forward as the body goes limp. A DOM unit can not be reactivated once this is done.

And Voila! You now have a defunct Sex god at your feet you have send back to be disposed of. No more twitchy palms for you!

_**Important!**_

To make sure your DOM unit is capable of functioning properly and to it's utmost effectiveness please read and consider the following:

Diet: Your DOM unit has a specific and strict nutritional intake guideline expressed in it's entirety in the separate MOCK NDA contract.

Exercise: Your DOM unit requires lengthy daily workouts to stay in shape. It would be prudent of any owner to provide a BASTILLE unit* for use on your DOM unit's particularly stressful days. This unit also uses controlled physical violence as a coping mechanism. Because your DOM unit stays in a perpetual state of 'Thermo-Nuclear Fifty Standby' you could find yourself needing a BASTILLE unit more often than not. If you are not well versed in advanced BDSM techniques we have to stress; DO NOT take it upon yourself to decompress your DOM unit by provoking a 'punishment' from him! Doing so could end up causing yourself and your unit extreme emotional distress and he'a already fragile for Heaven's sake!

*The BASTILLE unit is availible only for rent hourly at your local ACME Limited store.

Grooming: Unfortunately, your DOM unit is fully equipt with more than enough good sense to clean/groom/dress himself. Unless your unit is in Sub Mode any attempt to override this function without expressed permission will result in a punishment. You can always hire a FRANCO unit* for hair emergencies. The bright side is that you can look forward to your DOM unit cleaning and grooming YOU after sessions. If you're the showering type prepare for a change of pace as your unit prefers to bathe his "subs".

* A FRANCO unit is available only for rent hourly at your local ACME Limited store.

[_Note: Your Christian Grey DOM unit has what is called a 'No-Go Zone'. This area of the body begins at the collarbone and extends to the mid-to-lower abdomen in the front. In the back this area is from the top of the shoulder to just above the base of the spine. If you look closely you will notice small circular scars in these 'off-limits' areas (this is not a defect). PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH THIS AREA UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES! And Do Not bring this issue up with your unit, instead he will inform you of the cause for this on his own time. Pushing for an explanation will only serve to upset your DOM unit and we all know what happens next._]

**Default Programmed Modes:**

CEO Mode (Default)

Dominant Mode

Playful Christian Mode

Sex god/Vanilla Mode

Hibernate/Recharge Mode

*Bonus Modes: (Late Models Only)

Submissive Mode

Doting Daddy Mode (See FAQ's For Details)

**CEO Mode**: This is perhaps the mode that comes most naturally to your DOM unit and is also lovingly referred to a the 'Master Of The Universe' mode. It is the state your unit will default to at time of activation. He will be polite and professional, focused and demanding. Idle time is not something your DOM unit will respond well to. To this end we suggest giving your unit tasks and goals for the day-to-day. Your DOM unit can do anything from balancing your checkbook to completely and successfully running your business. Or he can even start a business for you in your field of choice. Turning a spare room in your home into an Office would be a great addition as your DOM unit will spent countless hours making your life run smoothly and your business grow. You could be a millionaire in a month!

*A ROS and/or ANDREA unit could come in handy for your DOM unit to delegate to and be generally curt with. ROS and ANDREA units like BASTILLE units are also of limited availability as they can only be rented hourly as well.

**Dominant Mode**: Brace yourself and ready the Arnica cream - the Ultra DOM has arrived in all his sexy ass glory! This would be what comes second most naturally to your DOM unit and it is a mode he is quite fond of. You should be prepared to be in full submissive mode when your DOM unit is in this state. Keep eyes always downcast and speak only when spoken to. Any act of defiance or insolence will be swiftly rectified. Know that your unit will only go into this mode once a punishment has been earned or playtime has been initiated in your private predesignated Playroom.

_[Note: Red accent walls in any other room besides your pre-designated Playroom is highly discouraged as it may cause confusion in your DOM unit and blur the boundaries between 'Play' and leisure time. Also, wearing your natural hair in a braid or the provided Braided Brunette Wig outside of the Playroom may further this problem. This could become a potentially embarrassing situation if an incident occurs where your DOM unit forgets himself around your friends and family.]_

**Playful Christian Mode**: Quite simply put your unit never acts his age. In this mode everything you love about your carefree Fifty will come to the forefront. Getting your DOM unit to let his guard down can prove to be very rewarding. Playful Christian is warm, funny, sweet. He can be quite devilishly charming and unnervingly vulnerable. He may start a spur of the moment game of 'Catch me' and is even fond of tickle fights! (WARNING: Do Not attempt tickle fights until Haphephobia goes defunct)

So take a ride in the 'Charlie Tango', sail in 'The Grace' and chase the sunset in the Glider. It's full on Hearts & Flowers with Playful Christian.

_[Note: As aforementioned, Playful Christian is fond of games of 'Catch Me' as this spurs on his predatorial instincts. However, make sure to never engage your unit in this game if you do not absolutely WANT to be caught. While seemingly the ultimate Alpha Male your DOM unit is quite sensitive and will not respond well if he senses actual distress from you towards him. Constant positive reinforcement is necessary to ward off brooding and tendencies towards self-loathing. Remember, a happy Christian is a sexy Christian. ;)]_

**Sex god/Vanilla Mode**: This is exactly what it sounds like. Somewhere between Dominate and submissive sits this mode. Not too aggressive, but not passive and strikes the perfect cord. If your familiar with the novels from which the unit is based, you know that there is nothing 'Vanilla' about Vanilla. Real talk, you're gonna need all the stamina you can muster for this unit. Like, you may even need to get at your boy BASTILLE for this one.

**Submissive Mode**: This is a tricky one as the mode can be reached manually (read instructions below) or can be a regression if your unit is in a state of extreme emotional distress and/or desperation. In this mode your unit will be completely acquiescent to your wishes. All grooming and cleaning will be left to your charge. (Yes, You're Welcome.) As previously stated DO NOT touch your unit in 'No-Go Zone' even in sub mode unless unit's haphephobia becomes a non-issue. It is possible for your unit to become clingy in this mode, so introduce hobbies and various (non-sexual) physical pursuits.

WARNING!: DO NOT feed you DOM unit Mexican, Thai, Creole, Indian (Dot not Feather) or any cuisine that uses peppers, curry or other spices to excess before attempting Manual Override. Absolutely NO Refried Beans,Baked Beans, Chili, any Legumes or Beans of any kind! To be safe wait a full 48 hours after such a meal to proceed.

Instructions for Manual Submissive Override:

(It would be prudent to hide any and all belts, floggers, whips, canes, etc., before attempting this.)

Wash hands thoroughly and wear protective latex gloves. With your DOM unit face down in Hibernate/Recharge Mode remove articles of clothing from lower extremities. Separate the butt cheeks and place a generous amount of lubrication onto anal opening. With your hand palm down facing unit's testicles introduce index finger slowly into anal cavity approximately 1-2 inches. With a firm but gentle downward 'Come Here' motion you should feel the 'Switch'.

Press it.

If done correctly your unit should awake in Submissive mode. If done incorrectly your unit will wake up in Full Dominate mode. If this occurs, RUN!

DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200 DOLLARS, JUST GET THE FUCK OUTTA DODGE!

If you try this on an older model (Pre June 13') you were always doomed to fail. The old version can only reach submissive mode through regression and only the late model (Post June 13') have a manual override feature in unit's anus.

**Hibernate/Recharge**: It's quite common for your DOM unit to require very little sleep. Sometimes as little as 4-5 hours a night on average. A troubled childhood and tortured disposition is to blame for this function. A home with a piano would be best for your DOM unit, but if this can't be provided an MP3 Player chalked full of classical music will should suffice. This unit is prone to nightmares as well so don't be surprised to hear rumblings in the middle of the night. If you wish to have your unit sleep in your bed that would help. Do remember once your unit gets use to your presence, any period of absence from your spot will cause a resurgence in night terrors. Only in this mode can newly updated late Christian Grey models be manually switched to sub mode.

**RELATIONS WITH OTHER UNITS**:

**_Anastasia Steele:_** Your Dom Unit will respond with great enthusiasm to an 'ANA' unit. Unfortunately and much to the chagrin of many an owner and general fangirls - the Christian Grey DOM unit only operates at it's zenith with an ANA unit. If an ANA unit is purchased and introduced into your home any romantic attachment your DOM unit has for you will immediately be severed upon eye contact with ANA unit. Yes, you will effectively be 'Friend Zoned'. Be warned; never purposely separate these two once an attachment is formed. Your DOM unit will focus all of his ire on the perpetrator of this separation.

_**Raymond Steele:**_ The RAY unit will only be fond of your DOM unit if there is an attachment to an ANA unit on your DOM unit's part. The RAY unit and Christian DOM unit will have a pleasent dynamic if not downright chummy if there's beer and fishing involved.

_**Katherine Kavanaugh**_: At first meeting your DOM unit will react with an initial hostility towards a KATE unit. Upon reaching an understanding of each other's intentions for the ANA unit their interactions will be ones of an only slightly forced pleasentness. In other words, they can barely stand one another keep'em separate if ya can. DO NOT let your DOM unit become the object of a 'Kavanaugh Inquisition' results will be disastrous! Try to always keep an ANA or ELLIOT unit on hand for when these two have to be around each other.

_**Ethan Kavanaugh**_: Your DOM unit will get along well enough with an ETHAN unit. If a MIA unit is in the vicinity, do try and quell her enthusiasm as it will only serve to cause unwarranted tension between your CHRISTIAN and an ETHAN.

_**Elliot Grey**_: Although your DOM unit will find himself almost perpetually exasperated with an ELLIOT unit's antics their dynamic will be a positive one. An ELLIOT will provide hours of entertainment including endless inappropriate jokes! This unit will also serve as a wonderful buffer between a KATE and CHRISTIAN.

_[Note: If an ELLIOT unit is unattached to a KATE unit he will be very flirty if not handsy with you. This function will only upset your DOM unit if he is not attached to an ANA. Reinforce the concept of mutual possession between owner (You) and unit (Christian) and all will be well.]_

_**Mia Grey**_: This unit will prove to be quite the lively character indeed. Nevertheless, your DOM unit will adore a MIA to pieces! A great bonus is that you will not have to guard your DOM unit against her touch as his phobia doesn't apply to her.

_**Grace Trevelyan-Grey**_: The GRACE Unit is the beloved Grey family matriarch and will be adored by your DOM unit by default. Don't be surprised to catch looks of reverence on your DOM unit's face when a GRACE is present. Anyone who would take a little copper haired boy in to their hearts to inhabit that space with no conditions deserves no less.

**WARNING**!: Under no circumstances to we recommend leaving a GRACE unit unattended with an ELENA unit. If this can not be helped for any reason please consider hiding sharp objects such as knives, forks or anything that could be made into a makeshift shank. Have restraints and Xanax on hand at all times. When it comes to her children a GRACE unit - if she senses they are in any danger a GRACE can become suddenly and ferociously strong. Like Crackhead strong, be warned.

_**Carrick Grey**_: Aah, the Patriarch of the Grey clan. This unit will have a steadying effect on a CHRISTIAN. A 'CARY' unit's functions include; wisdom imparting anecdotes, intimidating shoulder squaring, disapproving glances and long-winded meandering tales of 'The Good Ol'days'.

_[Note: Not unlike a GRACE unit a CARY unit is not to be left alone with an ELENA unit as A CARY will undoubtedly cause an ELENA to 'Expire' before her warranty is up.]_

_**Jason Taylor:**_ While usually referred to as a 'TAYLOR' Unit this guy will be your DOM unit's right hand. A highly trained former Military turned Private Security- a TAYLOR is not to be trifled with so rest assured of his capabilities. If you were to make "Have no fear Taylor's here" this unit's motto... well, he would undoubtedly hate it. Mostly because no one wants a tired ass, corny ass, cliche ass, I-didn't-put-no-thought-or-effort-into-this ass motto! Count on the TAYLOR unit to get the impossible done all the while covering our boy's ass. This unit is most compatible with a GAIL unit.

_[Note: Guns and other accessories to upgrade your TAYLOR unit sold separately. Must be 21 & older with an updated license to own firearms. A CCW highly recommended for upgrades.]_

_**Gail Jones:**_ Love your DOM unit, but don't love him enough to clean up after him? The GAIL Unit is the CHRISTIAN unit's housekeeper and cook and will an invaluable asset. Your DOM unit has a great professional relationship with the GAIL unit and will regard her as you will come to; indispensable. Bonus she can do 'The Times' Crossword in pen! A GAIL is most compatible with a TAYLOR unit.

_**Elena Lincoln:**_ This 'Creature From The Patent Leather Lagoon' is not to be trusted. It would be a good idea not to have an ELENA unit interact with your DOM unit as it will almost certainly end poorly. This unit is not compatible with most units in the '50 Shades' series and unless you want your DOM unit to have the most epic fit you've ever seen DO NOT let an ELENA make physical contact with an ANA, GRACE or MIA unit. Also, keep ELENA units away from children and small pets.

_**John Flynn:**_ While the FLYNN unit is your DOM unit's trusted adviser and therapist he is also a masterful tool that will help your unit to become introspective. A state that your DOM unit doesn't always find himself in altogether naturally. It is vital that you have a FLYNN to help your DOM unit sort out the detail of a troubled past and help your unit find better ways to cope. At nearly double the rental rate of all the hourly rental units the FLYNN unit is still the 'Expensive Charlatan' you've come to know. But a charlatan your DOM unit will listen to nonetheless.

_**Bastille**_: When emotions run high one of your DOM unit's ways of coping is through working it out physically. Working out, fighting, controlled violence in a sense. Enter the BASTILLE unit. Only Christian Grey would deem an Olympian as the only choice for an opponent. Available only in an hourly capacity a BASTILLE unit will whup your DOM's ass before your unit can whup yours.

_**Jack Hyde:**_ To keep your DOM unit from a stiff 25 to Life - keep him a safe distance from a HYDE unit. Handsy, Overly-familiar, Creepy, Smarmy and in possession of a tired ass ponytail that needs to be retired and put to pasture - you have yourself a HYDE. This unit is not to be trusted around an ANA unit or any female period! Keep a TAYLOR close if you even suspect this unit is nearby.

_[Note: There is currently a recall in effect for HYDE units manufactured from June 12' to April 14'. If you or anyone you know is retarded enough to actually have WANTED and subsequently purchased HYDE unit you deserve whatever grief it's gonna give you and your are highly encouraged to deactivate your HYDE and sent the unit back to your local ACME LTD store. This unit has a high malfunction rate with a defective personality disorder being the culprit. HYDE is deemed as dangerous having an obsessive and violent streak. Once having an object of obsession this unit will not be thwarted unless deactivated or destroyed.]_

_**Theodore Grey**_: Your DOM unit will react will a bit of trepidation to the idea of a TEDDY unit at first. There may be an adjustment period after you mention to you unit that you may be buying a TEDDY unit that may illict some negative emotions from a DOM unit. But as soon as CHRISTIAN makes eye contact with a TEDDY unit all bets are off and your unit's whole world will center around a TEDDY. There is a Bonus Mode that is only active when a DOM unit is given a TEDDY unit (Doting Daddy Mode). Prepare yourself for friends and family who will want to fawn over a TEDDY unit. You'll find yourself squealing with delight watching a CHRISTIAN & TEDDY interact!

[Note: This unit can only be activated with an ANA unit as it comes as a Bonus companion unit with a Deluxe ANA unit. It's activation code comes in a DELUXE EDITION ANASTASIA STEELE Unit: Owner's Guide & Maintenance Manual.]

_**Phoebe Grey**_: Coming Soon...

_**Frequently Asked Questions:**_

**_Q:_****_If I'm unsatisfied with my CHRISTIAN GREY DOM Unit can I give him to someone else or do I have to send him back?_**

A: First, we'd have to assume something was wrong with just YOU if you found yourself 'unsatisfied' with a CHRISTIAN GREY Unit, darling. As stated in the Important Facts section of the manual, your unit will form an attachment to you immediately upon activation. For this reason a CHRISTIAN GREY Unit specifically can not be re-gifted or re-sold. He can, however be re-gifted if it is to a person with an unattached ANA unit as his feelings will immediately transfer to her. You would have to deactivate him and bring the unit back to an ACME LTD store to be disposed of if you can not do this. If you insist on this course of action do not let on to your DOM unit his impending demise as he will translate this as rejection from you and this will trigger his abandonment issues. In extreme cases this may make your unit digress into submissive mode, but really, who wants to see a grown man groveling and crying? Don't do that you know what he's been through. Be kind and if you can find an unattached ANA unit.

_**Q: Is there any way to get my CHRISTIAN to let me bathe or groom him without courting a punishment?**_

A: Stop being a whiny perv. Only an ANA unit can attempt this feat without fear of an adverse reaction. However, if his phobia becomes defunct and your physical appearance is much like an ANA unit you could just try your luck. Otherwise brace for twitchy palms and stock up on Arnica cream. Only in submissive mode will a CHRISTIAN respond favorably to this gesture.

An ELLIOT unit will let you do just about anything to him with zero resistance, so maybe consider purchasing that unit.

_**Q: What do I do when my CHRISTIAN malfunctions in his sleep?**_

A: I'm going to assume you mean nightmares? This unit has night terrors and unfortunately nightmares a default in this model. This is the sad side effect of a torturous and damaging childhood. It can also be brought on by prolonged separation from owner, ANA unit or previous contact with an ELENA unit. This state doesn't last long and upon waking up this unit will most likely go in search of a piano to play to calm himself. (See Hibernate Mode for info) NEVER attempt to wake this unit from a fit of thrashing as you could be physically harmed. We suggest not letting this unit sleep alone. If you are present when he goes into Hibernate he will not stir once.

_**Q: Will my DOM unit respond to me if I'm not a brunette?**_

A: I'm guessing you mean sexually? Yes, your DOM unit will respond to you sexually (in Dominate Mode) but only wearing the brunette wig provided. Out of dominate mode he will respond to any hair color found in nature except blonde. Sorry, but that color will only remind him of an ELENA unit which will in turn make him go flaccid. The easiest way to go would be just to dye your hair. Make sure that if you opt to wear the wig that is on securely as a particularly rambunctious session could very easily send said wig a'flyin.

_**Q: Will my DOM unit respond to me sexually if I am a Man?**_

A: Sorry, no. Male customers do however rave about the ANA, KATE and MIA units. For the really kinky and advanced play an ELENA unit.

_**Q: If I switch my DOM unit to submissive mode will he respond to me if I'm a man?**_

A: No. Again we're sorry, but the CHRISTIAN GREY DOM Unit only displays heterosexual tendencies. You could try your luck with an ELLIOT though and contact us to let us know how that goes.

_**Q: Will my DOM unit respond to a male in the provided brunette braided wig?**_

A: -_- Next Question.

_**Q: My CHRISTIAN was having night terrors so now he sleeps in my bed. I often awake to find him staring at me unblinking. Is this normal and is he supposed to become so attached so quickly?**_

A: Shhh, don't question it - just let it happen.

_**Q: Working out is mentioned as something I have to agree to in the Mock NDA, but I don't like to as it isn't a part of my normal routine. Will it be a problem if I don't do this?**_

A: Lack of fitness and a disregard for your personal health will be a point of contention for your DOM unit and he will most likely see your health as his priority and therefore a non-negotiable. Taking part from time to time in your unit's workouts with the BASTILLE unit would be a good idea. You're going to want all the stamina you can muster to keep up with your DOM unit. You wouldn't want to pass out while getting turned out which in and of itself will only result in another punishment. It's a vicious circle.

_**Q: I don't want to be submissive at all, but I still want a CHRISTIAN GREY 'DOM' unit. Will he be able to settle into a normal domestic routine?**_

A: We usually urge that only women interested in a BDSM relationship purchase this unit. While you can over time ween your unit off of the more harsh aspects of this lifestyle, jumping straight into mode isn't possible. Know that switching this unit to submissive mode will not necessarily domesticate him. While it isn't healthy for either owner or unit, some owners have simply threatened their CHRISTIAN with abandonment to coerce their unit to fold to their wishes. This only works of course, when a CHRISTIAN has formed an excessive emotional attachment brought on by a short whirlwind courtship fraught with a roller-coaster of emotions, rides in Charlie Tango and a botched playroom session. A less dramatic answer would be to Buy a Deluxe ANA unit as she comes with a Theodore Grey 'TEDDY' unit. If you just want your TEDDY and CHRISTIAN to yourself simply don't activate the ANA unit. You'll enjoy hours of domestic bliss.

_**Q: I keep seeing black Audi SUV's following me everywhere. Should I be worried?**_

A: Probably, I would be worried! Have you alerted your local authority? It's probably some crazed rapist stalking you! This is ACME Limited, Bitch, We sell Companion Units NOT Audis! This ain't no damn car dealership!

Having said that it's probably just a TAYLOR unit assigned by your DOM unit to keep you safe if you've refused a COD. Don't be alarmed this is just your CHRISTIAN keeping you safe and his way of showing affection for you. Extreme? Yes. But you know you love his intensity, admit it.

[Note: Even still you may still want to ask your Unit if this is in fact just a TAYLOR. This could still be some maniac or worse still a defective HYDE unit! I don't know why we even make those units...]

_**Q: I let my CHRISTIAN pick the movies for our weekly Netflix marathon and he choose 'Twilight', 'Pretty Woman', 'The Secretary' and 'Beauty & The Beast'. I can appreciate having eclectic taste, but should this make me concerned?**_

A: No. This may simply be a residual reaction your unit is having from his personality composition. He is merely copying E.L. James' Netflix queue the day she was inspired to write '50 Shades of Grey'. Your unit will always gravitate towards stories and films that feature stoic male leads who live shut off whether physically or just emotionally. These characters will usually lead lonely, tortured existences, but wind up beyond all odds finding the love of their life. Usually, these loves are women who are completely inexperienced when it comes to having a firm grasp of what a healthy Male/Female romantic relationship looks like outside of a movie theater or book.

I would advise not watch 'The Secretary' and 'Beauty & The Beast' in one sitting. Just cause I find that thought icky.

_**Q: My DOM unit's hair (while very sexy) is out of control and I'd it to be tamed even just occasionally. What should I do?**_

A: I don't know Bitch, buy some gel! We supply units, U-N-I-T-S! DO we look like fucking Eslcava?!

_**Thank you for consulting this Owner's Guide & Maintenance Manual for your brand new CHRISTIAN GREY Dominant Unit! Happy Fucking!**_

* * *

**_A/N:_**** This is the first thing I've ever posted on FF so be gentle... ;)**


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